Go the mighty Dons

To be a true Australian (at least in the Southern states) you need to barrack for a footy team. Until recently this facet of my life in Oz has been lacking. I grew up being asked "who do you go for?" to which I have always relied "I don't follow footy". This has usually been followed with the "is there sumfink wrong wid you or sumfink" look that all non-footy subscribers will be very familiar with.

It has therefore been my mission for the past few weeks to find a team. Bananas and various friends and workmates have been on my back about this for a while. But choosing a team is final. Period. You can never ever change your team no matter how much they start to suck or what kind of illegal activities their stakeholders are embroiled in. So choosing a team is not to be taken lightly. My problem is that I have no affinity or association with any AFL team. I have never lived in any of the suburbs and I refuse to choose a team by colours.

Bananas is a Collingwood supporter - so that's out. Not only do I have too many teeth to qualify, it would make things too boring at home. We have some good friends (let's call them "Cheng and Princess") who are the most avid asian Carlton supporters I have ever known. For non Ozzies, Carlton are the arch-enemies of Collingwood so on paper this would be an excellent choice. However, in recent months Cheng and Princess have managed to convert many others in limbo like myself to their crusade. I'm not one to follow the crowd so my quest could not end in that camp.

Hawthorn are a bunch of pretty boys and any non-Victorian team is obviously not on the cards. So who was left? Kevin Sheedy is ending an epic career as coach of Essendon, so they will be starting a new era. I figured this would be a good time to jump on board and embark on this new and exciting journey with them. Bananas' sister came down to visit a couple of weekends ago and she "goes for" Essendon. This pretty much sealed the deal as I now will have someone to gloat with every time the Dons pummel the Magpies, and Bananas will have only the toothless caravan-dwellers to console her. Excellent....

And after all of that, I have to admit I still don't care that much. But at least now when anyone asks me "who do you barrack for", I can answer with "the mighty Dons!!!" and no longer will I endure the blank looks and ridicule of not having a team to call my own.

Oh and if you're reading this Cheng - WE PWNED JOO BIATCHES!!!